It has been a hard week on a number of different levels.  There have been disappointments, heart ache over church issues, and loneliness.  But I’m  thankful for “real” missionaries.  Friends – mentors – missionaries I have studied in biographies– who have modeled being real.    I hope I can keep refining being transparent yet focusing on the right things (not the negative).

Last week was the twenty-year anniversary of my mom’s unexpected death.  On the actual anniversary of her death (March 15th), we were helping a friend move and I had no time nor energy to process the event.  But I wanted to take some time to remember.  So I began every night before bed reading through a few of the thin blue airmail letters that I had in my possession from my parent’s five years in Southern Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe).  They served as missionaries  from 1963 (they arrived several months before my birth there) until 1967.  My sister N./H was born three years after me–we are the African-American sisters!

I took a few hours last Wednesday to get away and start typing up some of the letters.  My sisters and I have never had a chance to read through these.  They are not necessarily in order;  so it has felt a bit like a fun  puzzle to find letters and figure out where they “fit” in the history of my parent’s missionary experiences.  Tonight, I spent several more hours working through the letters.  (Trust me – this is a lot more fun than watching Japanese television!)  I’ve read about half of them, and typed up about 15 pages.   Through-and-through I am amazed and impressed at the steadfast Christian living my parents exhibited in the midst of very challenging circumstances.

I’ve loved finding out a lot of things I didn’t know about those early years.  I have learned a lot about  how cute and bright their children were (!), I learned that I had almost been named Patti or Kathy;  I have read many details of recurring illnesses that must have been incredibly challenging, including my Dad’s numerous bouts with malaria and my younger sister and I having recurring convulsions;  I realized that my dad was just as garden-driven then as he still is now: “I’m getting ready to plant 75 banana trees down by the stream and am preparing the ground for more vegetable beds…”

I’m also impressed about how real they were in their correspondence.  They called things as they were;  they processed the political upheavals, the frustrations of working with a dishonest church; the disappointments of hopes not realized during their five years there.  In one letter home, my mom wrote about their anniversary celebration with a rare night out:

“… We double-dated with Margaret D and Rod W for dinner and he ended up treating us. We ate at the Bamboo Inn and had the best Chinese food I’ve ever tasted. Bill and I were going to see the movie “Madame Butterfuly” but we had left Beth Ann crying with the babysitter so we rushed back to the babies instead of going. Everything was quiet with both babies asleep but there was no way to find out without going back. Bill said while we were eating, ‘Back home we’d have grandparents to leave them with and have no fears or worries about them’ – an unaccounted cost.”

So, this past week I have thought a lot about the unaccounted costs of being a missionary.  Reflecting with a veteran missionary friend on the phone yesterday, she said, “I think the longer we’re here in Japan the more we begin to realize the true reality and weight of those  unaccounted costs.”

When you sign up to be a missionary, you weigh the known costs.  For anyone who knows me well or has read my blog regularly, you will know the greatest cost for me  is being so far away from family and friends.  There are other inconveniences, cultural challenges, constant frustrations with language… all of these have been weighed and considered.  But our call to follow Jesus and to be in Japan, and our love and passion for the people here, have tipped the scale immeasurably  in favor of being here.

But it is sometimes those unaccounted costs that catch us by surprise.  And I’ve realized for me, at least, most involve costs on our children that we don’t have a choice about.  This past week it has felt hard  to watch our son O. struggle with communicating in Japanese.  He is trying so hard- and using every word he remembers! – but he’s not at a comfortable language place after being gone for 8 months, and it will take a number of months to catch up again. I’ve seen him get some strange looks as he tries so hard, and I pray that he doesn’t realize what’s going on around him.  I am worried in thinking of him starting first grade in two weeks.  My heart grieves.

I don’t regret the decisions we’ve made;  I don’t regret anything about our time in the U.S. or the choices that we make to follow Jesus here in Japan. Eric and I often say that we have the greatest job in the world.  But I realize that these choices can be part of the unaccounted costs that sometimes impose themselves.

As I continue to bathe myself when time permits in these special letters of these missionary mentors who have gone before, I am encouraged.  The same Father who held them, and their children; still holds us and our children.  Their frustrations with the church did not stop them from sharing His love, but perhaps drove them to share even more.  May it be true for us, as well.  I am so thankful that truly, “the love of Christ compels us” but also, that the verse that my Mom and I have both had on our sink for many years is true:  “God is the Blessed Controller of all things.”  (I Timothy 6:15).

Last night our two older kids, Eric and our friend Y. went to watch the sumo tournament in downtown Osaka.  The Tournaments are held 6 times a year at different large cities across Japan.

I’ve enjoyed sumo – and collecting little figurines – since I first came to Japan.  But Eric is an even bigger fan, and knows all of the wrestlers, their records… Even our kids have gotten into it.  Last year we waited too long to buy the cheap tickets, so this year we made sure we could go.

We got a late start, but still loved it!

One of the things that is fun about sumo is the advertisements.  Advertisers will pay big money to the winner of more popular matches, and just before the match men will walk up on the platform carrying large placard signs with the advertisers names on them.  Despite being a sport very entrenched in Japanese culture and even religion, if you look closely you can see the western influence:

Owen got into cheering in Japanese for some of our favorite wrestlers.  Annie was a bit indifferent, until… right after the show, when she was quite insistent on finding a sumo wrestler she could have her picture taken with.  We stood at the front entrance as the crowds poured out the doors…

Finally, we didn’t think we were going to meet one, so Eric tried his best to pose…

It didn’t work.

Thankfully, several minutes later, one strapping young man made Annie’s day.

Then, as we walked behind the building to the parking lot, three more came around.

Annie was thrilled because the guy in the middle patted her head.  She swooned in the car on the way home.

Well, we have our first graduate!  Owen graduated from Japanese yochien, which is a 2-3 year combined pre-school and Kindergarten.  It is a REALLY big deal in this country!  Dads get off work; women dress in their most formal BLACK suits, pearls, and high heels (I’m glad that I knew this ahead of time– I’ve had a friend or two show up at their child’s graduation wearing the wrong color)… But most of the moms were wearing fake white corsages that I didn’t know I needed…

 

 

 

…and it is very clear that the school teachers, staff, and children take the event quite seriously.

They even made yearbooks for Owen’s class!

I read a book a number of years ago entitled, “Going to School in Japan.”  The author did extensive research on what happens at Japanese yochiens compared with American kindergartens.  She came to the conclusion (this is oversimplified, of course) that basically the goal of American kindergartens is to teach the child independence;  in japan the goal is to teach cooperation.  Over and over we have seen this reality.  We are amazed at how the yochien educators are able to pull off all that they do, and how they get 60 children ages 5 and 6 to all — cooperate!

One friend wrote and asked – “But did you cry?”  Yes- I was in quite good company.  I tried to keep the sniffles to a minimum while videotaping…but hearing your son singing in Japanese, “Thank you Mom and Dad for all you’ve done for me” can make even a non-cryer-type shed a few tears.  

Here is a 5 minute video overview of Owen’s graduation. You’ll see that Annie was involved, as well, as one of the younger siblings also attending the yochien.

So… I guess I’d better start making some fake white corsages… if all three of our children end up finishing college — only 14 more graduations to go!

 

 

 

 

Part I:   Pins

On Wednesday Owen had a graduation party at the local bowling alley with all of his classmates, their moms, and the two teachers of the graduating classes.  The kids were divided into groups of threes, with moms in the background pressing the “call” button frequently to reset the game, get the balls that were stuck in the gutter, etc.  The teachers rotated like stars among the groups, aptly handling the photo shoots with the moms and kids.  During this time, the moms presented the teachers with a group present and album that each child had contributed to.  I was impressed again at the orderliness of the event — everyone working together to help the children, and the teachers, celebrate and remember.

One thing Owen hadn’t reckoned with was that real bowling is a tad different than Wii bowling… He didn’t quite hit is 200+ Wii bowling scores!  But he had a great time playing, and a fun time with his special friend Y.

Part 2:  Needles

Our close neighbor friend, Mrs. I, has been insisting that I come with her to visit her new doctor.  He is a chiropractor/acupuncturist.  She kept telling me how much he has helped.  

So, yesterday I went!  It was my first acupuncture experience, but I was pretty excited to try this. After a ten minute time of resting with heat packs on my back, the doctor came and began putting needles into my back.  I could barely feel them — only one had a tinge of pain as he put it in.  He left them for about ten minutes, then came and took them out.  (While he was out and I was laying on my stomach with needles in my back, I managed to blindly feel for my camera, fenegle it over my head and take the picture below!)

I can’t say for sure how much it helped- he had me come back today again since we are just starting treatment.  But the price is right (about $5/session!) and I enjoy trying something new that may help with my ongoing back problems.  Anyone wanna try?

We just returned later last night from a six day retreat/team leader meetings in the Nagano mountains with our Asian Access colleagues.
Here are a few highlights for me:
–Getting to know some new members of the A2 family: Joe Handley and his family and Margaret, my new bath buddy!

–Being inspired – touched — by the messages of our friend Scott Shaum. There is a lot brewing in my heart right now… I very much am thinking about the rythyms of our lives and what God wants to shape me to become. It felt like his messages from the Word just continued what God has already been doing in my life. It was just what many of us needed..

–Eric and Scott had several chances to go bird-watching…both in Sanda and up in the mountains. I’m looking forward to going with Eric when we can as he develops this new hobby.
–The kids, as always, had a great time playing with the other children and hanging out with their “aunties and uncles”, playing in the snow (the first two days), singing and dancing.


Here is an amazing performance completely organized and choreographed by the teens and taught to the younger children in just two days:

–We had a baby shower for the new baby of our Japanese business manager.  Our friend Anne did water-color prints of their three children’s names, meanings, and Bible verse for each one.  It was wonderful!  (Anyone interested please go to Anne’s website at http://magentabyanne.com/

–With our A2 family, we had a chance to remember family members who aren’t in Japan with us now. We loved the video clip from Bobby and Claire; we all had a chance to cheer as we watched a TV clip of Angela winning on Wheel of Fortune:

Way to go, Ang!
–I loved the way that Scott closed each of our sessions. These words have stayed in my heart:
“Let nothing disturb thee; nothing afright thee; all things are passing, God never changes;
patient endurance attains all things; who God possesses in nothing is wanting; alone God suffices.”
(Northumbria Community)

My first real “ministry” coming back was a cooking class I was asked to do for a group of women on Thursday.  One of the leaders of this community group lives in our neighborhood and is the only other Christian we know nearby.  (She attends another church).  My friend Yasko helped me, and we taught an Italian recipe of homemade meat sauce and ravioli.  It was a bit stressful at first, but great fun.  I practiced on our family the night before- and it really is a good recipe. (Don’t you love the size of that rolling pin in the left photo?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a good activity to come back to… as I sat with different ladies and cooked, ate, and talked, I was struck again by why we are here.  These women are wonderful… so open to building relationships.  Rubbing shoulders and cooking ravioli with 18 ladies made me think that this is what is about.  Building relationships through common interests.  And as we share these interests, finding chances to share the Hope that is within us.  Several women have already contacted me about getting together, or joining one of our English classes.  God can make a difference.

 

This morning was Owen and Annie’s kindergarten school’s annual seikatsu hapyokai.  Each class performs some sort of a play that includes costumes, scenery, acting, and songs.  Usually the children start practicing daily a good month or two prior to the performance day.  Unfortunately for Annie and Owen, they didn’t have that luxury!  Even though they came back to school a day after returning to Japan, they both came down with the serious influenza and were each out of school for a week.

Still, with only a few day’s rehearsal under their belt, we were so proud of both of them!  We had a lot of chuckles… after just coming back from the U.S. it was hard not to compare the more formal, serious nature of Owen and Annie’s Christmas program in the U.S. (below left) with the cutesyness and all-out effort at our Japanese kindergarten (below right).  We are thankful that our children have been able to have both experiences and so much fun doing them.

Annie’s class did the story of the Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad wolf.  Of course, there were some alterations, like the hippos (Annie and a efw friends) who helped the pigs do the building.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is a short video composite of Annie’s performance:

One of my mom friend’s and I were overcome with giggles when one of the piggy’s hats (i.e. shower caps) kept bunching up her face so that she couldn’t open her eyes…

Owen’s class did a Japanese children’s story called the Blue Bird.  Owen was a demon (Nice children’s story, you might think…)..and later came out as a wolf.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a short composite of Owen’s performance:

 

It was a long morning (Annie’s play was the very first;  Owen’s was the very last), but a lot of fun and chance to catch up with friends we haven’t seen since coming back.  We were so thankful that Megumi could be with us, too…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While we were waiting at one point, one of the moms came to get us and warn us that Olivia was walking around… in the toilet slippers –A big taboo in this country…(Photo left- Annie and Olivia wearing the slippers the right way IN the bathroom;  right — the wrong way).

 

After the performances, we went out with our friends the S. family from Owen’s class  to our favorite Japanese buffet restaurant…where you can make your own cotton candy… What better way to end a fun day?

 

 

 

 

 

 

So tell us – who do you think is cuter wearing the hippo hat?

Despite having three children home with influenza all week, there have been some bright spots to our weekend.  Our new couch did come; I found a rug at Ikea that we both like a lot that was actually cheap, and Megumi has been here. (With special, special thanks to the B family  for the amazing gift to help us replace our couch and rug!)

We are loving our new sofa!  There are two leg rests that come out on either side, and there is a small table with drink holders that can fold down in the center.  Japanese do things right!We were definitely entertained at the beginning and end of our day by Megumi.  She had a wedding today for a former Japanese co-worker.  She and Annie had fun doing make-up together.  (Today Megumi had to explain to Annie why, one in a while, it’s ok to break the less is more rule… like for a wedding.)

We were amused by her invitation to the wedding, that asked all the guests to come wearing red.  Megumi obligated the couple’s wishes, but upon arrival discovered that NO OTHER WOMEN attending wore any red!  A number of male guests were wearing red wristbands, but that was about it.  It wasn’t a joke, but most guests weren’t willing to stand out or already knew what they wanted to wear.  The good thing was — Megumi came home with a present for the best-dressed award.
The bad news was — this was the present (an over-dressed pig).

Only in Japan.

The kids have been counting down the days until today (Friday) for two reasons:

1.  Tonight our friend Megumi is coming to stay with us for a week!  She used to live 45 minutes away from us in Japan and would often spend weekends with us.  She is the greatest babysitter and part of our family.  When she finished her 3 years of teaching in Kobe, she took another job up in the Tokyo area and even in the U.S. we missed just the thought of her being so far away.  We’re excited to welcome her back home!

2.  We’re glad that she’ll have something to sit on once she comes — our new couch is coming today!  While we were gone last summer, our couch and living room rug were ruined by the terrible mildew problem in Japan and had to be thrown away.  We bought a couch for a great deal last week, but it couldn’t be delivered until today. Our living room has been quite bare and unwelcoming without it — the kids sit on cushions on the hardware floor and can’t wait for something REAL to sit on.  (Neither can we).

3.  This morning we take Annie back to the doctor’s to have her tested again for Influenza A – Olivia tested positive yesterday (2 down)… and while Annie showed some of the symptoms she tested negative.  We remembered that she’s the only one who got the flu shot in the U.S…. so maybe they really DO help and she has just a light version?  We’ll keep you posted.  But just so you know we have had THREE sick children at home.

4.  Today I am going for the FIRST time to Ikea Japan!  Eric and I were supposed to go earlier this week to look for a new rug, but because of sick children haven’t been able to.  So we decided to have me and our friend Mary go in the meantime and see if we can find a rug to warm up our living space. (Here’s a photo of what our living area — and two sick kids– look like now:)

5.  Gold mines!   I know I’ve been quoting so much recently from this devotional, but daily it touches me and resets my mindset.

The external world is always in flux– under the curse of death and decay.  But there is a gold mine of Peace deep within you, waiting to be tapped.  Take time to delve into the riches of My residing Presence…. I am Christ in you, the hope of Glory.

Thanks for comments welcoming us back. It has been a week since we returned, and we are enjoying readjusting to Japanese life. The kids started well in yochien (kindergarten), but on Monday Owen came down with the very contagious Influenza A. It lasts 4-5 days; we’re hoping the girls don’t get it! In some ways it has limited what we’re able to do but it’s probably good to be slowed down as I’ve been battling some kind of sinus cold as well.
Housing: Our ministry partner Mary has been looking for housing in our area, and had found a great home right up the street from us. We put in her application, and just found out last night that the owners rejected it (no reason given — possibly because she’s American? a missionary? hard to say, but unfortunately not unusual). Pray that God will provide just the right home for Mary — both for the long term and short-term –and help her not to be discouraged.
We are also still looking for housing for our family, as well. So far there is nothing. We are putting a lot on hold in terms of purchases we need to make for our home (a bed instead of crib for Olivia, dresser for Owen, etc.) until we see what happens. March is the main time when Japanese move, so pray pray pray with us!
–Finally, pray for our ministry with our church.  Our church has gone through some challenging transitions with much unknown about the future.  We want to be ministers of grace and peace.

Thanks…We’ll continue to update and value your prayers for our family.