Some of the best mentors in my life have been missionaries who I have never met… missionary biographies that have gripped my heart; that have inspired me to let go of my more petty ways…that have made me realize that I really do have the best job in the world.

I’m teaching a class tomorrow at Fuller on one of my very favorite missionary mentors, Irene Webster-Smith.  Last week, when I was teaching about the life of Henrietta Mears, several members of the class asked me for a list of some of my favorite missionary biographies, so this is what I have prepared  to give them tomorrow.  I’d love to hear your favorites, and keep adding to this list!
1.    Sensei – the Life of Irene Webster Smith    Irene was an evangelist with strong pioneering skills; worked within mission agency but found creative ways to pursue her vision without usurping mission leadership authority
2.    In the Arena – the life of Isobel Kuhn    The best overall missionary biography I know that deals with the real life issues of a missionary adjusting to challenges of overseas life;  continually reminds us that we are in God’s arena for the world to watch and know who God is.
3.      By Searching:  how God led Isobel Kuhn into missions    Great for missionaries struggling with obstacles to raise support, change the hearts of their family members.  Extraordinary faith and extraordinary reminder of God’s ability to come through in unique ways.
4.    Mountain Rain – the story of F.O. Frazer    This biography will bring you back on your knees with a desire to pray more and take faith more seriously.
5.    Created for Commitment – the story of  A. Wetherell Johnson, founder of BSF    Originally a missionary in China, Johnson is a great study for those with strong word gifts; and those whose intended course is changed midway.  God has continued to use her Bible skills to make Word-centered leaders.
6.    Amy Carmichael – any biography about her life;  particularly Elizabeth Eliot’s A Chance to Die; Frank Houghton Amy Carmichael of Donovour    In my 20’s I read every book and devotional by and about Amy that I could find.  She continues to remind me that suffering is always part of the course;  and that we can never love too much.  Her life and writings have been a major influence on many modern missionaries.  (And she spent her first year in Japan!)
7.    Elizabeth Eliot’s autobiographies; story of Jim Eliot  Shadow of the Almighty;  Through Gates of Splendor    One of the best-known missionary voices in the past thirty years, Eliot has seen her share of suffering, and yet her works call our own lives to holier living.  Her two biographies about her first husband’s life and then the consequent ministries will remind us that we are still surrounded by missionary saints.
8.    Corrie Ten Boom:  Tramp for the Lord;     This is the story of what happens after Corrie’s internment in a concentration camp…when she becomes a global itinerant missionary.  This book inspires me to faith like none others.
9.     Don’t Let the Goats Eat the Loquat Trees by Thomas Hale    I  have just recently read this, but it is filled with wonderful tales of a missionary doctor  and his family ministering in Burma.  It is real; it raises real issues for missionaries; it reminds us of the place for humor in the challenges of missionary life.
10.    Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret;  Hudson Taylor’s Growth of a Soul    This was my mom’s favorite book;  it draws the reader into greater surrender as modeled by this missionary great.
11.    David Brainerd    missionary to American Indians – heart for evangelism and amazing conviction
12.    Gladys Aylward The Small Woman    missionary in China; Hollywood movie Inn of the Sixth Happiness made about her life
13. Eric Liddell    several biographies are around of the Olympic champion runner who went on to be a missionary in China with unwavering faith). Shantung Compound by Longdon Gilkeyis a story by an expat taken into captivity by the Japanese in China during WWII that is a fascinating reflection the nature of human beings- missionaries and others- who had to survive in challenging circumstances.  The only person in the book who exemplifies Christ-like living is Eric Liddell (although his name is different in the book, it is clear who the author is talking about
14. Borden of Yale, the life of  William Borden    A wealthy young man who fought against the pulls of the world to serve God whole-heartedly, continuing to influence his academic colleagues.  His young death inspires us to make each day count.
15. Dream Big- The Henrietta Meares Story    Henrietta had amazing influence over many of the Christian greats of the past few decades – Billy Graham, Bill Bright, etc.  She lived life with zeal; modeled the importance of  Word-centered teaching; and is a great model and teacher for anyone working with youth today.
13.    Goforth of China    A missionary biography about a couple’s struggles and triumphs in China that could make a great adventure movie or a poignant love story.
14.    Peace Child by Don Richardson    A great classic missionary tale that reminds us that even in the most savage, remote locations the truths of the Bible surround us.
15.  Chasing the Dragon by Jackie Pullinger    An absolutely amazing but true story of a young 20-year old who leaves everything to go behind the walled city of Hong Kong to prove that the love of Jesus really is stronger than any sin or bondage.  You will be amazed by her stories.  I went to Hong Kong and tried to hear her speak because I was so inspired by this.
16.    In the Presence of Mine Enemies by Gracia Burnham    The most modern account I know of missionaries who were taken hostage in the Philippians, and struggle to find God in the midst of their daily challenges.

On my List to Read this Summer:
Evidence Not Seen – Darlene Rose
To the Golden Shore – Judson
Climbing by Rosalind Goforth

One of the highlights of our time in L.A. so far was a small gathering of friends as we celebrated Annie’s fourth birthday on July 4th.  Our good friends Eric and Mary Bernard – and their 3 darling children- hosted the party, and it was wonderful to have friends who we’ve known through Asian Access in different ways join us.  As you’ll see from the photos, this was Annie’s PRINCESS birthday.  She has had the theme set for many many months – we could do nothing less than accomodate.  She was in her glory, and quite convinced that the Redondo Beach fireworks that ended our special evening were all for her.

It has been one month since we left Japan and came to the US.  We spent two and a half weeks in Hawaii, and then two weeks ago came to L.A.  For most of this time, we have been without a computer (the main reason is because I dropped our laptop.  Ouch).  Finally, we are settling into our missionary housing apartment, and remembering how to use our computer again.  Thanks for your patience — I will begin catching up.

Impressions about America:  yes, pretty much everyone has a VERY big tv;  We love the cable tv show, “What Not to Wear” (and I want to get on it!); we have some amazing friends in the U.S.!;  there is something that feels like coming home when I walk across Fuller’s campus;  drink portions are so huge– the large Slurpee at 7-11 would easily satisfy twelve thirsty Japanese;  everything seems much more expensive than when we were back three years ago!;  Starbucks really are just about everywhere (gotta’ like that);   the 50 or 60-so staff who work at the Apple stores around here — there are a LOT of staff at all times!–most of them  don’t look like the type who would be working at a computer store (It’s hard to describe – you just need to go and see for yourself);  it’s the little things that sort of discombobulate me as I try and settle back in;  McDonalds in the US has much better healthy options than the McDonalds in  Japan;  by far the best invention of the year is the portable GPS that Eric’s brothers gave us;  our kids help us see joy and adventure in every day;  Eric’s mom is really an amazing cook and I don’t think she has ever messed up a meal!;  K-Mart is way overpriced- Target is still the way to go;  even though I don’t like crowds Disneyland is worth it.  And we have some great family and friends here for whom we are daily thankful.

We have been in Hawaii the past twelve days or so… most of the time in Oahu, with 3 days being spent on the Big Island– the home of the active Volcano!  More on that later.  In addition to time constraints, we have had some unexpected computer problems which has kept me from blogging more.  However, I wanted to share a blog entry with you that we wrote on a site that we have created for our Japanese friends to follow our trails… I was able to post a number of pictures of our time in Hawaii so far, so check it out, and I’ll hopefully get caught back up here next week when we get to L.A. and have better computer access…Click here.

We have much to write about our last few days, but there was one quick post I wanted to write.

Our last day in Japan, Eric was gone all day for the first-ever house church conference in Japan.  We were having house church at our home, but a number of people couldn’t attend, so it was a very small all women’s group.  That weekend our friend Megumi had stayed over in order to help me pack up.  Before house church, she took the kids to the park in order to let me be free to get things done.  She came back, and due to the heat and Annie getting dirty, she showered off herself and Annie.

This is how she came into the living room at the beginning of house church:

Our Japanese friends were SO surprised at the fancy way that Megumi wrapped her head towel, and Keiko proceeded to show Megumi the Japanese way of wrapping — a little less elegant looking.  We had fun laughing about the cultural difference… and then moved into an ice breaker and time of worship.

We joked that Megumi of course would never come dressed like this to a traditional church… but in this week’s slightly- unusual, very small setting, everyone enjoyed our casual family atmosphere.

At a very different level, Eric enjoyed the weekend house church conference.  It is truly an exciting, rising movement in Japan, and it was great for him to meet people from many backgrounds who are finding God at work through house churches.  We are thankful for all that God has taught us the last four years about house churches and building natural, deeper relationships as a way of sharing the reality of Jesus.

Yuck Yuck Yuck. There’s not a lot that I dislike more than saying goodbyes. It’s really one of the worse things about our job. I think Emily Dickinson got it right: Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell. I so agree! Even though we are coming back next year, it is not easy to pick up and leave life that is in the midst of its busy flow.

Here are a few farewells from this past week.

Eric’s children’s class prepared some special thank yous and presents for him, and a party for all of us:

My friend Natsuko had a birthday party for her daughter Asana, but it was also a going-away party for Annie from some of her friends and their moms.  They gave us special gifts for each of the kids to use on the airplane rides!

Our house church came over on Saturday morning to help us with cleaning, and then to have a farewell party for us and birthday party for Eric.  We will miss them so!

Today was Owen’s last sports club after school.  His teacher is really wonderful, and I happened to catch the last five minutes in which he called Owen up to the front and in true Japanese style honored him…

And then tonight- another hard goodbye… our friend Megumi came to pick up Molly, our little Maltese.  We can’t take her with us on all of our travels, so several different friends will take care of her.  It was hard! – Hard! to say goodbye to her!  It doesn’t get easier.  

There is one goodbye that is particularly hard for us, because when we come back in 8 months, they will be gone, onto the next season of their lives in England.  Bobby and Claire, our dear friends over the past 3 years, have been family to us in many ways.  Last night we went to Outback Steakhouse for Eric’s birthday and to sort of say goodbye…

One of the things that I have always vowed as a missionary is to let my roots go deep – wherever we are, for whatever amount of time.  It is this very thing that causes so much joy in life, and yet the most pain.

Tomorrow, and the next five days, will each hold partings, and I know I will get teary-eyed again and again.  Thankfully, though, these farewells will be mixed with cleaning out a few more cupboards and packing up boxes and suitcases and the million mundane details that will help to steady us and propel us into the next stage of saying hellos, and goodbyes again.

Yesterday was a full, full, fun day! Having a ladies’ tea, and their collective 13 or so children, into your home two weeks before moving your family across the world is a bit insane. But if it’s because two members of the Philadelphia Orchestra – who are also friends — are coming, it’s well worth it.

We had nine ladies attend our late-afternoon tea. Our friends Lisa-Beth, first chair-violinist for the Orchestra, and Roger, who’s been trumpeting with the orchestra for over 30 years, and his wife Marilyn came to visit us. Roger and Marilyn are actively involved in our church in New Jersey; and Lisa-Beth in our Washington DC church. They are on a three-week Asia tour, and had a concert on Sunday in our area. What was so wonderful was that they were so willing on their day off to trek over to Sanda, share their music, and share their stories of how God has been real in their lives. There’s no way we were going to pass up this opportunity.

When I introduced Roger, I played 3 minutes of our wedding video that showed Roger playing the processional as I walked down the aisle with my Dad. The ladies’ reactions were so funny as they oohed and aahed.. But perhaps Annie’s comments were the best… after the bridesmaids went down the aisle, the back doors, as usual, were closed for me, the bride, to get ready to come down the aisle. Annie was watching and said, “Mommy, were you late and so they closed the door on you?” And then, as I came to the front of the church, I looked to my right at Eric, and to my left at our pastor, and Annie said, “Mommy, were you trying to choose which one to marry?” We cracked up.

Both Roger and Lisa-Beth played several solos for us that I’m sure made all the neighbors want to come and see who was in our home.

One of the neat things that we notice is what happens during the less formal times like this… the Christians and the nonChristians interact and friendships go deeper. Eric took all 13-plus children to the park for the whole time, allowing the women to interact freely and enjoy the music the tea, and the fellowship. We very intentionally chose those who were invited, and saw God blessing the relationships that were being built through the tea.

After the tea was done, we quickly prepared for Part II… we had the K. family over for dinner and to meet our friends. Their whole family is musical, and we knew that they would love meeting Lisa-Beth, Roger, and Marilyn. They, too, drank in the impromptu performances and chances to talk to professional musicians.

One of the fun things that happened in the midst of the day was watching a special bonding that happened between Lisa-Beth and Annie. They became inseparable! When Lisa-Beth pulled out her violin, Annie said, “Wow- that violin is so beautiful.” Lisa-Beth did Annie’s hair, they read stories, and they became fast friends. This seemed like God’s special gift to Annie, and just what she needs as she has been going through adjustment stresses at school.

While Lisa-Beth was warming up, she indulged Annie by playing Annie’s favorite song. Later after dinner, they did a special duet to what has become our family’s theme song this year… and a great summary of what happened in our home yesterday.

Saturday was a special open house for Annie and Annie at their kindergarten. Parents came and watched their children participate in some “normal” school activities and see some of the interesting dynamics going on.

Here is a video clip of Owen doing a welcome song with three of his close friends. It was such a great joy to see his personality shine, finally. After a full year in Japanese school, we can really see Owen able to be himself, playing in Japanese and doing the same silly things at school that he does at home.

Owen’s grade every year makes bamboo stilts, called take-uma, or bamboo horses. The dads and kids put them together- I’ll need to post some pictures later when Owen gets to use them outside (it was raining like crazy on Saturday.)

Saturday was the first time we’ve seen Annie in action at her preschool. She seems to be doing better, although it’s still obvious that she doesn’t know a lot of what is going on except by watching her friends. She shined during the songs!

We loved watching her sing- even if she didn’t know all the words, she can fake it beautifully… and Olivia was right there by her side wanting to join in.

In both classes, they took a special class photo with the parents, too, to give to us before we leave for the U.S. Here’s Annie’s class…

Perhaps it was Annie and Owen’s parents who learned the most at Kindergarten on Saturday. Eric got to learn how to be a rabbit and an elephant (OH- was I ever lucky for holding Olivia at the time that one parent had to go forward!)

And here’s what Mom learned… to double-check the fliers that give the instructions for special days! Often I double-check with another mom to make sure I’ve got all the Japanese right, or to ask about some part that I didn’t understand. This time, I read it quickly and it made sense– Annie, first year, had to wear her normal school uniform; Owen, third year, had to wear his gym clothes (since they were making the stilts). Shortly after Owen’s class started, Eric motioned to me from across the sea of children and parents in the room… and it suddenly dawned on me that Owen was the only one of 30 students wearing his gym clothes. All the other kids were in their uniforms! When I came home and checked the instructions, I realized that it was the 2nd year students who were to wear gym clothes. Big oops. Thankfully, Owen is fairly self-confident and only one time made some comment. Another mom who I shared my horror with said, “Oh, I just thought his uniform must be dirty.” That was kind.

ALL of us continue to learn at Kindergarten.

(Read Part 1 below for full context) Shortly after we moved into Sanda four years ago, one of our neighbors, Mrs. I. came and introduced herself to us. She said that her daughter Y. had lived in the U.S. for seven years, and so many Americans had helped her daughter that she wanted to try and help us.

She came, of course, bearing gifts… a homemade rice dish. In a tupperware. And profusely apologized for being such a terrible cook. So I had fun the next few days thinking of what to put in it, and waiting a bit so it didn’t look too much like okaeshi. Unfortunately, okaeshi doesn’t stop there with one return–there are times where it can be more like ping pong….you don’t want to be the last one to receive a gift… Several days after that, she came down with some fresh produce that someone had given them that they “really couldn’t use.” A few days later, we accidentally made too many cupcakes and took the extras down. And then they received a shipment of apple juice from friends that they couldn’t drink… and so it began. Everytime she would show up at our door I would try so hard not to laugh. We would try and predict how many days it would be, and how many days we should wait. But the okaeshi dance continued.

And that dance was the beginning of an amazing friendship between our two families. Their daughter, Y., has become one of our dearest friends ever. She is at our home once or twice a week for a meal, movie, or just to hang out. And Mr. and Mrs. I. are very much our children’s grandparents in Japan. Our family birthday celebrations and holidays always include them; on grandparents’ day at Owen’s school Mrs. I rode Owen on the bike and made him feel like a million dollars. Mr. I has a special soft spot in his heart for our girls — and they love hanging out with him, and the 3 dogs and 4 cats at their home! We can’t tell you how much we love this family.

About six weeks ago, Mrs. I came over and said she had to talk to us. She told us they were moving to Osaka to be closer to her husband’s work. Eric and I were both reeling and couldn’t even believe it. We just couldn’t imagine Sanda life without Mr. and Mrs. I! I got all teary-eyed, but tried to be brave and supportive, and ask several questions, including when they might move. She replied quickly, “next week.” We were shocked… and then Eric and I looked at each other and said at the same time, “April Fools!”

Sure enough. She got us SO GOOD. Hook, line, sinker. She had us going, even to tears. She couldn’t stop laughing, overjoyed at getting this infamous practical joker. It was a great one, and I was quite proud of her prowess!

They wanted to have us and three of our American friends over for a last dinner before we leave. We had a great dinner, making takoyaki (fried octopus dough balls), eating sushi, noodles — you name it. There was a great deal of laughter and joy around the table.

It happened to be Mother’s Day, and every year we get Mrs. I a gift on that day for the special role that she plays in our lives. After dinner, Owen presented her with a beautiful hydrangae plant that Eric had found:

Then, it was time to give her the REAL gift. On a recent trip to Okinawa, we had bought a gift especially with Mrs. I. in mind. We had it ice-packed, and kept it refrigerated until this dinner party. Annie and Olivia gave it to her, and as she was opening it we told her this was a special gift to comfort them in their upcoming move to Osaka…

Just what she had always wanted! A real, very edible, soy sauce-and-pepper-flavored whole pig’s head. As you can see from those photos, it was her dream come true. Actually, if I can get download the video from our video camera, you will see her 5-second long scream…her throwing it down at Olivia’s feet, and then flying through the air… the shock of Annie and Olivia as they watched Mrs. I for the first time ever not know what to do with herself.

Needless to say, we couldn’t convince her to open up the vacuum-seal and nibble at the ears. But, we can say — April Fools okaeshi! !! While Mrs. I. has sworn not to mess with us anymore in terms of practical jokes, (which of course I don’t really believe, and already I’m trying to think of what special surprise we can bring them back from the U.S.!), I’m sure the gift-giving okaeshi will continue for a long time to come… but not nearly as long as I expect the give and take of our precious friendship with these dear friends to continue. Good things really can come from cultural obligations!

There is a gift-giving custom in Japan that frustrates many foreigners who live here called okaeshi.  It is gift-giving as an obligation for having received a gift from someone… a return gift.

My first weddings in Japan were surprising… while guests usually give generous money gifts to the bride and groom, they leave with a bag full of gifts!  My favorite Japanese dishes were wedding gifts that I received for attending a wedding– okaeshi.

While I have loved giving gifts to neighbor friends who have had babies recently, I have been appalled at the nice presents that I have received several weeks later from these moms who have their hands quite full!  I have found out that one is expected to give a gift worth 50% of the original given gift’s value.  So the new mom needs to figure out the value of the baby gift they received, and then go out shopping to get an appropriate gift to give back.

So, I decided the last time that I gave a gift to a kindergarten mom who had just had her second child that I would give it to her and tell her that she really didn’t need to give me a return gift- that it is an American custom to give a gift when a baby is born, and no okaeshi gift is needed.  Owen and Annie and I had a wonderful time visiting the family, including grandparents, several weeks after the baby was born, and giving them some baby gifts.

But my words didn’t help.  A week later she came up to me in the school yard with a package in hand, apologetically saying it was just a little something.  I realized that I was only putting more pressure on her by asking her not to do anything… so I received the gift and said thank you several times (it was a coffee mug and matching hand towel).  Okaeshi!

And then there’s the whole Tupperware issue.  If someone is at your home for an event, and you send them home with a Tupperware of leftovers – beware!  When they return the dish or the Tupperware, they are obligated to put something in it– some Japanese cookies, or rice cakes, or something they have recently made.  Okaeshi.

We have gotten used to okaeshi, like it or not.  Tomorrow, I will write about how I’m learning to take advantage of the system….