Somehow jetlag from the east coast to Japan is the worst. It has been five days and we still haven’t had a full night’s sleep. But, this morning, I recognized some of God’s purposes in it all… Five-thirty am is a great time to have an uninterrupted quiet time!!
The last few days I have felt a build-up of anxiety about a number of things concerning our readjustment back here… questions about our schedule, our role, our housing, our relationships… you get the picture. Nothing is bad or wrong, but there are changes of course that have occurred over the past eight months and God WANTS there to be changes in things from last year. And being frustrated with myself for areas of weakness or where I’m not responding in the most loving way.
This morning I was reading from my daily devotion, Jesus Calling (by Sarah Young) and wanted to share some of what I read because it might encourage, you as well, in areas of trust and surrender:
Come to Me with all your weaknesses: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me.
Pry your mind away from your problems so you can focus your attention on Me. Recall that I am able to do immeasurably more than all you ask or imagine. Instead of trying to direct Me to do this and that, seek to attune yourself to what I am already doing.
When anxiety attempts to wedge its way into your thoughts, remind yourself that I am your Shepherd…Rather than trying to maintain control over your life, abandon yourself to My will…
As I journaled and then prayed through the issues God brought to mind, I felt such hope and peace! He is able to change me; He is in charge of our circumstances. He is at work. He is my Shepherd.
God brought to mind one situation that reminded me to trust His timing. We have been praying for almost two years for a larger home to open up for us to rent in our neighborhood. So far nothing… It is always on my heart and in my prayers. But the night before we came back to Japan, our neighbor across the street, Mr. Sh. was taken away in an ambulance – he had another heart attack, this one much more serious than several years ago.
We went over upon returning to talk to his wife. She told us the whole story, and said the drs. weren’t hopeful if he would make it or not. He was in an induced coma after going through immediate surgery (his heart had stopped). Keiko reminded Eric as we were talking of the first heart attack in which God had led Eric to go over and pray for him as the ambulance came. Keiko was very grateful as we prayed for her and her husband again right on the sidewalk in front of her home! Yesterday, we made a meal and took it over to their family (their grown sons have come home to help and several other relatives have visited on the weekend). She told us that he is out of the worse danger right now, but still in an induced coma. She cried as we gave her the meal (it’s not very Japanese to do this) – and said she could never thank us enough.
This morning, as I was praying, I realized again that God’s timing is always good. I’m so thankful that we are still in this home in order to be able to minister to the Shintanis during this time. Pray that God’s love would break through to this family! Our friend Mary has also been ministering to them in our absence, and Mary had just had tea in their home the day before his heart attack.
So, I am trying again to abandon myself to His good will. I am very thankful that He does all things well and is willing to use us despite our frailties and desire to take over control.