Somehow jetlag from the east coast to Japan is the worst.  It has been five days and we still haven’t had a full night’s sleep.  But, this morning, I recognized some of God’s purposes in it all… Five-thirty am is a great time to have an uninterrupted quiet time!!

The last few days I have felt a build-up of anxiety about a number of things concerning our readjustment back here… questions about our schedule, our role, our housing, our relationships… you get the picture.    Nothing is bad or wrong, but there are changes of course that have occurred over the past eight months and God WANTS there to be changes in things from last year.  And being frustrated with myself for areas of weakness or where I’m not responding in the most loving way.

This morning I was reading from my daily devotion, Jesus Calling (by Sarah Young) and wanted to share some of what I read because it might encourage, you as well, in areas of trust and surrender:

Come to Me with all your weaknesses: physical, emotional, and spiritual.  Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me.

Pry your mind away from your problems so you can focus your attention on Me.  Recall that I am able to do immeasurably more than all you ask or imagine.  Instead of trying to direct Me to do this and that, seek to attune yourself to what I am already doing.

When anxiety attempts to wedge its way into your thoughts, remind yourself that I am your Shepherd…Rather than trying to maintain control over your life, abandon yourself to My will…

***

As I journaled and then prayed through the issues God brought to mind, I felt such hope and peace!  He is able to change me; He is in charge of our circumstances.  He is at work.  He is my Shepherd.

God brought to mind one situation that reminded me to trust His timing.  We have been praying for almost two years for a larger home to open up for us to rent in our neighborhood.  So far nothing… It is always on my heart and in my prayers.  But the night before we came back to Japan, our neighbor across the street, Mr. Sh.  was taken away in an ambulance – he had another heart attack, this one much more serious than several years ago.

We went over upon returning to talk to his wife.  She told us the whole story, and said the drs. weren’t hopeful if he would make it or not.  He was in an induced coma after going through immediate surgery (his heart had stopped).  Keiko reminded Eric as we were talking of the first heart attack in which God had led Eric to go over and pray for him as the ambulance came.  Keiko was very grateful as we prayed for her and her husband again right on the sidewalk in front of her home!  Yesterday, we made a meal and took it over to their family (their grown sons have come home to help and several other relatives have visited on the weekend).  She told us that he is out of the worse danger right now, but still in an induced coma.  She cried as we gave her the meal (it’s not very Japanese to do this) – and said she could never thank us enough.

This morning, as I was praying, I realized again that God’s timing is always good.  I’m so thankful that we are still in this home in order to be able to minister to the Shintanis during this time.  Pray that God’s love would break through to this family!  Our friend Mary has also been ministering to them in our absence, and Mary had just had tea in their home the day before his heart attack.

So, I am trying again to abandon myself to His good will.  I am very thankful that He does all things well and is willing to use us despite our frailties and desire to take over control.

Our travels back to Japan were not without their own adventures, (all ten of our pieces of luggage were overweight, meaning we were frantically pulling things out and stuffing them into our already overstuffed carryons… the five of us were lugging all of our things  plus 3 car seats after an arduous time going through security when we heard them paging the Takamoto family because our flight was leaving…. you get the picture)… and yet- it was amazingly smooth in terms of the real things we were concerned about.  Our children  did wonderful going through all 3 airports, each one carrying a small suitcase or large backpack — even Olivia.  My arms were too loaded to get a good photo, but I did get one after we landed in Osaka as our family was waiting for the shuttle train to take us to immigration:

After picking up all of our luggage and traipsing out the door, we were greeted by a group of friends who had come to meet us:  Wendi T., Mrs. Ishida, and the Sakamotos.  It was a joyous reunion!

The kids were as thrilled as we were to see our friends here, and happily split up going back in the diferent  cars with our Japanese friends (1 1/2 hours drive to sanda).

We walked in the door and immediately had several calls from friends and neighbors welcoming us back.  After the commotion died a bit, I put the kids into the Japanese bath– we had been SO excited to take a REAL bath again!  Just as we did so, two families came over with their children, wanting to greet our kids.  We popped them out of the bath and into pajamas and went out to greet friends we hadn’t seen in eight months.

That night as our tired bodies finally curled up in a bed after a lot of hours of travel, I reflected on the cultural difference of our greeting… Americans would welcome us, but want to “give us space” to unwind.  In some ways, that is what I was expecting.  But it was wonderful to walk into Japan and feel such overwhelming love from the minute we hit the ground.

The next day was a holiday in japan, so we tried to unpack as much as we could and spend time with friends who came to visit.  Our close neighbor friends the Ito family invited us for dinner.  We haven’t seen our kids eat so much in a LONG LONG time– sushi and miso soup.  We all loved it.  The Itos thought it was funny to see this American family totally digging Japanese food!

Today (Thursday) we decided to have Owen and Annie start back into kindergarten here — it wasn’t going to get easier by waiting!  They enjoyed getting dressed in their uniforms, and then all 3 of us loved our bike ride into school (I admit to being a little shaky and out of practice– we made sure they wore their helmets, just in case.)

They both did really well at school — Owen’s teacher said he was grinning from ear to ear all day.  We were relieved to hear that.  Annie was a bit more reticent, and it will take her more time to feel comfortable again in Japanese.  But they seemed to come home with happy hearts and we are so thankful for that.  As we were leaving the school, a group of Owen’s friends were walking out too.  I heard one of the boys say to his mom, “You’ll never believe it!  Owen became fluent in English!”  We tried hard not to crack up.  Now, we just have to help him become fluent in Japanese…

Here are some of the “comforts” of Japan that we have loved coming home to:

• –the deep, soothing Japanese baths
• –heated toilet seats in very cold bathrooms
• –our own home — remembering (mostly) where we put things and not needing to adjust to a new place again
• our Japanese dishwasher – the size of a microwave, but it does a great job of washing a meal full of dishes
• getting our car back — we love that our Japanese navigation system at the end of a short journey will say (in Japanese) – “Job well done!”
• seeing our neighbors and friends again.

Thanks for your prayers for us.  There are still adjustments, but we are thankful to God for His amazing blessings to us.

Shakespeare got it pretty right:  “Parting is such sweet sorrow.”  Leaving New Jersey loved ones was filled with moments of sorrow and tears, and yet – there has been a sweetness to it that makes it durable.  Clearly, for me, the hardest thing about being a missionary is the goodbyes.  It doesn’t get easier, either!  The next hardest thing is the sorting, packing, cleaning, and lugging across the world every time we do this.  Somehow Eric and I don’t do things simply.  We try — I really really try to simplify!  — but we always end up with lots of stuff going with us.

We had an amazing crew come in to help us.  In addition to a number of friends who came over in the weeks prior to help with packing, a group of six or seven friends from church came over on our last day to help with all the final cleaning and gathering of stuffs.  (Thanks, Marcie, for organizing this!)  They were amazing, and there’s NO WAY we could have done it without them.  The six trips to the dentist, culminating the day before in root canal, were not on my TO DO list for the last week.  But these friends helped us to make our deadline, and to leave things spic and span! (/?sp?)  We even received an email today thanking us for leaving the place so beautiful.

That afternoon, we went around Cedar Lane missionary home to say our goodbyes.  It was sad- how much we loved these dear friends and this special place that God had provided!

That night we checked into a hotel — an idea suggested by a number of friends in our mission — and had our last time to hang out with our friends the Weigels.  They brought our favorite PF Chang’s food to the hotel, and swam with the kids.  It was sad, sad to hug and say goodbye.

The next morning our church had a prayer time for us.  They asked if we wanted to say anything, and I knew if i opened my mouth even a little the tears would start rolling.  After church, they had a wonderful reception for us… my sister Allison surprised us with a beautiful cake that held memories of our last 8 months:

Later that afternoon, my family gathered for a last delicious dinner.  The feast culminated in a favorite childhood delicacy– homemade ice cream!  It was our kids’ first time, and Owen especially loved the making as well as the eating.

As we said goodbye to several family members that night, and I was crying, Annie the comforter said, “Don’t worry Mommy.  You’ll see your sisters in heaven at least!”  Bring on the tears.

The next morning, my Dad and Allison drove us to the airport… at 4:15 am!  The good thing about these ungodly times is that it’s almost too early to cry too too much.  But I still did some… and as we were walking away from them into the terminal, Annie again was my comforter:  “Mommy, don’t worry.  You’ll see Molly (our Maltese dog) soon.  She’ll give you lots of kisses.”  (She was right!)

So now I know why since ancient history the mouth has been a favorite target amongst torturers. I am off in a few hours for my fifth (out of six) visit to the dentist chair in the past week. Of course, the only opening is at the same hour that the Japanese moving company is arriving to take our boxes. (I will be praying a great deal for Eric at this time). After one temporary crown, four fillings, and then two visits trying to determine which of the five lovely additions to my mouth could be causing the crazy pain of the past few days, I am scheduled for root canal this morning. Then, my new dentist who we have written into our will is going to come into the office on Saturday or Sunday to install the new permanent crown to cover up the holes put in my mouth today. And I am finally on antibiotics for my sinus infection, which has made figuring all of this out even more insane.

Perhaps the most discouraging part of all of this has been the disconnect I have had between these realities and the realities of what God is doing in my life. I have been memorizing Psalm 84 — the theme of pilgrimage has felt very appropriate in the midst of international moves and questions from children about where our real home is. But I have had selective memory as I have reviewed these verses in the dentist’s chair. It has felt easier to focus on verse 2 “My soul longs, indeed it faints for the courts of the Lord.” (I was praying for the joy of fainting into the courts of the Lord several times this past week), than to continue on to verse 3, “my heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.” Or “as they go through the valley of Baca they make it a place of springs”… I fear that through the past two days of packing in the midst of a bit of pain I have not made our home a place of springs. I have not been very good at “ever singing His praise” (verse 4).
These are good days to mentally, physically, more consciously seek to practice the presence of God. I am promised by this psalmist that if I go from strength to strength, then God will be seen (verse 6). So I am going to try and make better choices today.. while recognizing that meltdowns may be par for the course a few more times before lift-off, I can allow God’s grace to be sufficient for whatever this day may hold. Even root canal.

Last week we visited an older family friend, Audrey. She had been my mom’s closest friend when they were in high school and college. Although they hadn’t stayed close over the years, there was always a bond because of the many memories they had shared in their youthful years.
When we arrived at 9:30 in the morning, Audrey pulled out treats — chocolate chip mint ice cream! She explained: “When your mom and I went on a Youth for Christ retreat to Indiana when we were 17 years old, we had to take an all-night bus. We made a morning stop for 30 minutes, and your mom said, ‘come on Audrey! Let’s go get ice cream!'” I had never heard of eating ice cream in the morning, but we sure enjoyed it. So I bought ice cream so that we could enjoy it this morning, too.”
Olivia was thrilled — and Eric and I chuckled our way through. It felt somehow strangely bonding with my mom who has been gone for almost twenty years.

Before we left, Audrey gave me some fun old photos of her and my mom and their group of friends. She also showed me a present she had received from my mom about — 62 years ago. The writing was a bit faded, but it was undeniably my mom’s, and the message is one that never changes:

(“Audrey – For graduation from good old B.I.O.PA. May this help you to continue to grow in the grace, knowledge, and love of our Saviour. Love, Dottie John 15:5)

Our friends Mark and Cathy gave us a devotional that they have been enjoying called Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.  I have really loved the daily readings.

This was the reading on Thursday:

Strive to trust Me in more and more areas of your life.  Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity.  Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessings I have hidden in the difficulties.  If you believe that I am sovereign over every aspect of your life, it is possible to trust Me in all situations.  Don’t waste energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been.  Start at the present moment–accepting things exactly as they are — and search for My way in the midst of those circumstances.

Trust is like a staff you can lean on, as you journey uphill with Me.  If you are trusting in Me consistently, the staff will bear as much of your weight as needed.  Lean on, trust, and be confident in Me with all your heart and mind.

As I read this passage, I realized a number of low-level anxieties I have been carrying, mostly about returning to Japan.  None of them are major, but each of them have a way of wasting my energy.  I had to list each one, and consciously choose to bring it before God and trust Him in it.

Then, last night, I thought about two things I have been worrying about that actually I haven’t WANT to bring before God.  So I listed those out too in my devotional.  And I realized as much as I think I want God to have all parts of me, there are some things that I sort of don’t include Him in.  And so I end up carrying those things alone.  I am trying to lean into Him with all these things.  It feels a lot lighter.  And I know His staff can bear it all.

When Eric and I went away to Maryland for our anniversary getaway in October, we met a delightful couple also staying at the same B & B who were from the same area in South Jersey.  Susan, in fact, lives down the street from my sister (the house that I grew up in).  We exchanged information, and have had a few chances to visit since then.  We took our kids trick-or-treating to her home, and then she came to our ladies’ Christmas tea where I was speaking.

One of the interesting small-world tidbits that we discovered was that her best friend since childhood, Caroline, is the mom who hired me as her mother’s helper for their 3 boys all through my high school days.  She was married to a Japanese-American, and I can remember being shocked — nearly repulsed — when she would cut up big slabs of raw tuna and the boys would swarm around like bees to honey.

Oh- what goes around comes around.  Now I’m the one married to a Japanese- American, and our children’s favorite treat is — raw fish!  Who knew?  I really can see how God used this high school experience in a part of the world where I know NO other Japanese — to prepare me for what He knew was to come.  Truly, from our South Jersey of Moorestown, I can fairly well bet that there are no other caucasian women married to Japanese- Americans…

It was great fun last Sunday night to go out with Susan and Don,  Caroline and Fred, and Allison and Anthony (my sister and brother-in-law who live down the street from these other 2 couples).  Fred took us to the most authentic Japanese restaurant around and had a good time ordering for all of us.  We loved the food, conversation, and getting to know (re-getting to know) these new and old friends. We really have missed good Japanese food (2 more weeks!)… and our kids — like bees to the honey — ate up the leftovers for breakfast the next morning. (Photo below:  from left clockwise:  Don, Susan, Fred, Caroline, Eric, me, Allison, Anthony).

It was a great surprise this afternoon to run into Fred and Caroline again at an Italian restaurant where we were eating after church today.  They had their oldest son Takashi, and his two children.  Takashi has grown up since the days when I was his sitter– I loved this further connection with my past just as we are preparing to depart.

I just received this photo from our friend Cathy in California, Cathy (she gave me permission to post the photo):

She sent it after seeing the previous blog entry  photo of me with my old college roommate Daphne:

She asked what it means to be wearing the same crazy pajamas as me.  I can only say to her, and to Daphne – Beware!!  You might end up in Japan… or camping out on your college president’s front lawn… or perhaps all it means is that the three of us will be the next nominations for “What Not to Wear.”  At the least, I’m thankful that pink sock-monkey pajamas are a way of connecting with dear old friends.

The last two weekends of reuniting with “old” dear friends  have been really amazing.  They have made me understand the root meaning of reunion… I think I have been so amazed that friends who haven’t seen each other for many years can still be so united in love.

The first week of January we went to Washington DC, and on Friday night had a reunion of a group of friends who used to hang out during my first four years after college.  Our friends the McCarthys have been in Papau New Guinea for more than a decade… other friends have moved around.  We have probably not all been in the same room since before I first went to Japan (1989)!  We’ve multiplied (!), but a lot of other things stayed the same.  A few practical jokes were had by all – of course!

On Saturday, we had a mini-reunion of some women friends who used to meet together for breakfast… we called ourselves the Morning Glories… and there wasn’t nearly enough time to catch up with each other (below left).  And for dinner, our friends Lyn and Larry hosted some more old friends, and my Dad and his wife.  I tried to keep the focus away from some of those embarrassing stories from the past… (below right).

This past weekend, Tennessee was the serendipitous location for a reunion among my college friends.  We were sad that at the last minute two friends had to cancel, but the rest of the five of us had an amazing time.

Even though it’s been almost twenty five years since we were all together at the same time, there was still a common bond — check out these pajamas that my old roommate Daphne and I both brought with us:

If THIS doesn’t prove that two people are lifelong friends…

A wonderful ending to our weekend was participating in a very special church service in Knoxville at Providence church.  It was communion, and this week the staff had worked hard to create an atmosphere that made it easy to enter in.  We held hands, took communion, and once again were thankful for the wonderful friendships that God has given us.

Today a very pleasant young Japanese delivery man brought our 16 boxes that we will use to pack up all the possessions we have accumulated (some intentionally; some not so) during our eight month-stay in the U.S. Over the phone, very pleasant Miss Shinobu told me that their Japanese company would deliver eight medium boxes and eight small boxes, equaling the total dimensions we are allowed for the price we’re paying to send these boxes by boat. They’ll arrive in about eight weeks.
At first I thought — we don’t need sixteen boxes! This morning, I saw the boxes. Eric laughed. My heart sank. Let’s just say –Owen’s cherished PlayMobil set that his uncle gave him is in a box larger than the medium boxes delivered. Our new 6 quart crockpot won’t fit in the small box. We may need to buy airplane seats for Annie and Olivia’s Christmas horses! (That part is a joke. The rest is not).
I’m always up for learning new secrets for packing successes. These next few weeks will give me ample opportunity to keep learning. And laughing, of course.