Our friends Mark and Cathy gave us a devotional that they have been enjoying called Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young. I have really loved the daily readings.
This was the reading on Thursday:
Strive to trust Me in more and more areas of your life. Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity. Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessings I have hidden in the difficulties. If you believe that I am sovereign over every aspect of your life, it is possible to trust Me in all situations. Don’t waste energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been. Start at the present moment–accepting things exactly as they are — and search for My way in the midst of those circumstances.
Trust is like a staff you can lean on, as you journey uphill with Me. If you are trusting in Me consistently, the staff will bear as much of your weight as needed. Lean on, trust, and be confident in Me with all your heart and mind.
As I read this passage, I realized a number of low-level anxieties I have been carrying, mostly about returning to Japan. None of them are major, but each of them have a way of wasting my energy. I had to list each one, and consciously choose to bring it before God and trust Him in it.
Then, last night, I thought about two things I have been worrying about that actually I haven’t WANT to bring before God. So I listed those out too in my devotional. And I realized as much as I think I want God to have all parts of me, there are some things that I sort of don’t include Him in. And so I end up carrying those things alone. I am trying to lean into Him with all these things. It feels a lot lighter. And I know His staff can bear it all.