We  had a really busy week, with people over every day for different gatherings, parties, and classes. It’s funny, but sometimes, in the midst of living in Japan, we forget that we live in Japan.  This is our life;  we love it that God has called us here.  But in thinking about different events last week, there were little things here and there where we stop – maybe laugh – and remember, “Oh yeah!  We live in Japan!”  Here’s a few examples:

1)  Having a mom friend and her daughter over for lunch on Wednesday… Annie enjoyed playing with A-chan, and I loved getting to spend time with her mom, T.  When it was time for her to go and pick up her other daughter around 2:30, I started to say goodbye and then realized that she was planning to come back with her daughter and son.  The four of them stayed until dinner time, and all of our kids enjoyed the chance to play together.   I let go of my own agenda, and really enjoyed sharing about parenting as we enjoyed each other’s children.  She brought over a a new craze in Japan:  white chocolate-covered potato chips.  (These aren’t big in North America, or are they?)  Here’s T. and  her sweet children:

2)  Japanese Olympic coverage!  I need to write about this to help Eric vent his emotions.  He is vowing to boycott watching.  His main complaints?  a) Events that feature Japanese are covered from beginning to end without editing, including all the preliminary trials.  b) Yesterday on primetime Olympic coverage TV our whole family got into watching a speed skating in which it was clear that two of the Japanese players had a strong chance at winning.  We watched it up to the end, where the two Japanese skaters won the silver and bronze medals… and we realized that it was the race from a WEEK ago that they were replaying simply because Japanese won.  It’s interesting in watching — we asked our kids which country they would play for if they were in the Olympics.  Owen?  “Japan!”  Annie?  “America!”  We have enjoyed cheering for both countries, even if it has meant sometimes cheering for an event that we had already cheered for much earlier…

3)  Annie had her annual school play on Saturday.  She did a great job on her lines and the songs, as well as looking pretty cute as a horn-bearing yellow cat (she’s on the right)

One of our favorite parts of the play was the 4 boys who were toasting each other with large paper-made, foaming beer mugs.

They couldn’t help pretending to pour the beer on each other’s heads. We were almost beside ourselves.   Beer is such a Japanese norm in adult society that it wasn’t considered at all inappropriate to have these boys pretending to toast each other.  Definitely a Japan moment…

3.  Saturday night we had two families over for dinner.  Every few months our 3 families get together and it is an EVENT.  Yesterday afternoon the two men came over early for an English conversation lesson with Eric, and then the rest of their families came over for the evening.  They brought over their children’s pajamas, and after dinner in good Japanese fashion by groups all the kids took showers and baths together in our humble ofuro  (the girls took about  40 minutes each in their groups;  Owen and Shun were in and out in seven!)  Here they are after their baths enjoying some good old-fashioned Uno:

Meanwhile, in addition to enjoying a Mexican spread of fajitas, guacamole and chips; and ceviche, the adults all played Settlers of Catan.  It was our first time to have to teach it in Japanese –poor them!   But they were great learners and we had a really fun time.  You know that we are in Japan when Eric and I tried hard not to win (we were the hosts; we taught them the game!).  We actually could have won 2 rounds sooner but tried to wait it out, in vain, for one of the other couples to win.  When we won, it was with the promise of a rematch in the near future.  They were all very comfortable staying at our home until 11:30 at night!  Our kids, of course, were thrilled, and thought it was New Year’s Eve again.  Can’t wait for our next dinner/bathing/Settlers night with these fun friends!
4.  During the evening, Ian was held by the two fun husbands all night long. (Guess who wanted to be held all day on Sunday?)  They were loving on him, and one of them said, “He really reminds me of Tom Hanks!”  They all agreed.  (What do you think?  Maybe the nose?)

The next day at lunch, I was telling another Japanese friend, who said, “Oh, many Japanese think that all Americans look alike.”  We had to laugh.  It was a really good week–in Japan– enjoying life on life on life…

I’ve always thought that Japan never got Valentine’s day quite right.  There is the giving of chocolates and homemade sweets, but on February 14th it is only the GIRLS who buy the sweets for the BOYS.  Then, on March 14th, it is “White Day,” in which the boys/men return the favor with chocolates to the ones who initiated the previous month.  Don’t you think it should be the other way around?  These poor girls/women need to stick their necks out and be the initiators, without knowing if there is returned interest.  Then, even if there isn’t, the guy feels the need to buy and give her chocolates back.  Often it is called giri chocolate, or “obligation chocolate”.

Well, I personally know one guy who isn’t minding this tradition too much.  Our oldest, Owen, (7 years old), has raked it in this year!  Four of his female classmates had their moms drive them over to our home so they could give him a plethora of homemade cookies, chocolates, and boxes.

Owen will also have to be quite busy a month from now with some obligation chocolates…Our family, in preparation for this big day,  made a double batch of peanut butter blossoms yesterday to give to neighbors and family friends.  It’s been fun to surprise our friends with a more American-style Valentine tradition.

Today, our pastor gave a message about love — how the Father loves us.  And it brought to mind one of my favorite quotes of all times, written by J.I. Packer.  I think my sister Beth first shared this with me in college.  It touched me then;  it touches me still.  I share it on this day because it is about a love that is not dependent on cultural expectations, or obligation-types of love.  It is real – it is deep — it is a love that is infinitely more surprising than any unexpected Valentine cookies.  This is the real Valentine.

I am graven on the palms of His hands. I am never out of His mind. All my knowledge of Him depends on His sustained initiative in knowing me. I know Him, because he first knew me, and continues to know me. He knows me as a friend, one who loves me; and there is no moment when His eye is off me, or His attention distracted from me, and no moment, therefore, when His care falters.

This is a momentous knowledge. There is unspeakable comfort–the sort of comfort that energizes. . . in knowing that God is constantly taking knowledge of me in love, and watching over me for my good. There is tremendous relief in knowing that His love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery now can disillusion Him about me, in the way I am often disillusioned about myself, and quench His determination to bless me. . . He sees all the twisted things about me that my fellow-men do not see (and I am glad!), and that He sees more corruption in me than that which I see in myself (which, in all conscience, is enough). There is, however, equally great incentive to worship and love God in the thought that, for some unfathomable reason, He wants me as His friend, and desires to be my Friend, and has given His Son to die for me in order to realize this purpose. . . not merely that we know God, but that He knows us (J. I. Packer, Knowing God, p. 37).

There were a lot of reasons why the K. family would never have us over to their home for a meal:

1) they have a small apartment;  2) they’ve never had another family over to their home; (most Japanese typically do not entertain in their homes)  3) Mr. K. works crazy hours, 6 days a week as the owner/chef of a small restaurant in town as has little family time;  4) we have four children!  No one has families over for dinner with four children! (Okay- so that’s my fear.  I’m getting over it).

But they DID invite us over last Sunday.  And we had such a wonderful time.  A great spread:

There was a creative welcome sign hanging in their living room (our friends had to look up how to spell our names in English):

We’ve gotten to know the K. family through our children.  Their oldest daughter, Y., has been Owen’s special friend for the last three years.  We’ve written about their special friendship before.  Annie has become friends with their younger daughter, H., although they haven’t been in the same class yet (hopefully this coming April!).  They play together really nicely.  Both of their girls love taking care of Olivia and Ian, too.

I’ve had a chance to get to know the mom, Chi., and she’s come to a number of different events we’ve done.   We have been quite excited to find out that Ian will have a playmate — they are expecting a little boy in June.

The grandparents and Chi.’s sister came, as well as our friend Mary.  They all loved on Ian!

Here is the gang of us:

We’ve had a lot of  families over to our home for dinner over the years, and will continue to do so.  But it is always a special treat when our Japanese friends invite us into their home, their world.   We are given the chance to know them more, to show we care about the little details of their lives. It was interesting because just before everyone started eating, the sister stopped the digging-in process and said, “Wait!  We need to pray first!..”  She remembered being at our home before and this important custom for us.  So Eric prayed a blessing over this family, inviting the presence of Jesus into their home.  God is amazing — He can somehow take the clay pots of our family, and as we sup and play with these friends in their home, I do believe that He joins us there.  Jesus came to the K. family’s home for dinner.  His name might not have been written on a heart on the wall, but I know He was there, enjoying the time probably more than us.

One of the areas of study that I focused on during my seven-year stint of doctoral work was that of rituals.  It fascinated me;  I think my personal interest helped me get through the thousands of pages of anthropological ramblings that otherwise would have driven me crazy.

This past week we expereinced two rituals in our local Japanese church that are often such an assumed part of the Christian experience that we don’t think much about it.  The first was Ian’s baby dedication.  In all honesty, as his mom I did not go through the dedication feeling particularly movedl.  (A number of reasons:  the baptisms that followed were clearly the “main” event as we wanted them to be;  we had tons of visitors and I was overly concerned with making sure they were fine, there were enough seats, the mike got set up finally, Olivia picking her nose as the pastor said amen, etc.  We’ve also been spoiled in that with our other 3 children several of our  family members from the U.S. were able to present for their dedications.) But I loved it that Eric shared clearly God’s work in Ian’s and our lives that led to our adopting him.  Many were touched and I think we all realized in this public ceremony that God has indeed called Ian to us and has set him aside for His special purposes.

The second event, the baptisms, were very moving for me.  In part it was because of our special relationship with both Naoko and George.  We understood what this meant in their lives;  what this meant for their families.  But also, I have been doing a great Bible study with Naoko and another friend, and our study on baptism led me to think more deeply about this rite of initiation.

Being a missionary in Japan for a lot of years has allowed me to work with a lot of different churches.  Baptism here is taken much more seriously, in my opinion, than in most churches in the U.S., and is given greater preeminence.  But it can also be a point of dissension between various denominations, as well as between missionaries and the church leadership.  There are many different views of the “proper way” to baptize.

One common belief among many churches is that a person is not saved until they are baptized — this is what “marks” them and qualifies them to really be a Christian.  We also worked for several years with a church that took a new believer through a very intense discipleship program, usually lasting 1 -2 years, before that person was considered ready to be baptized.  The church we have been working with the past five years tries to immediately baptize new believers.  This church sprinkles with water;  many churches have a baptismal or baptize believers in a body of water (If it were up to me everyone would be baptized in a lake or ocean!  But alas, we are in a church right now that sprinkles)….

But what does it all MEAN?  I’ve been reading and thinking the past few weeks about the significance.  The week before the baptism in the study I was leading we read the famous Great Commission, Matthew 28:16-20.  In Jesus’ commission to the disciples before He left, baptism was the second of three commandments he gave.  J.I. Packer says, “The root reason for the practice of baptizing is to please Jesus Christ our Lord.”  It was under Jesus’ authority, and because of his example, practice, and commandment, that the church began the practice of baptism.

But what I’ve been thinking about the most is what baptism initiates one into.  Initiation means reception or entrance into a committed membership.  In choosing baptism, one is choosing to yoke oneself to Jesus, but also it is a walking through the doorway into the corporate Church of God.  Michael Green says “Baptism is inescapably corporate.  It brings you into the Christ in whom others are engrafted.”

I think this is what I watched happen on Sunday.  And eighty others, including the family and friends of these two new believers.  As the pastor sprinkled their heads with water, we watched them choose to identify themselves with the mighty name of Jesus, as well as a very small minority in this country.  The ceremony itself was in fact rather dry, but at its completion something very moving occurred:   they stood up, faced the congregation, and they were welcomed into the Church as we all sang to them a wonderful Japanese song, “You were born to be loved.”  There is a version here you can watch on YouTube:

This is something the Japanese church does really well — welcoming in new members.  Both George and Naoko stood there shamelessly crying.  Naoko shared that she didn’t cry like this at her own wedding.  Everyone there knew that they had just somehow mysteriously been inducted into something greater than themselves;  they had been incorporated into the church of Christ.  (Below:  George receiving a gift from the church;  Naoko being welcomed by the oldest member of the congregation).

Our church is not all that we want it to be (who’s is?) and there is much more we are hoping will happen.  But this day of initiation reminded me that God IS at work transforming lives and calling people into a movement that is much greater than any individual or small institution.  In obeying the commands of Jesus, a new world has opened for Naoko and George and I know they, and this precious church who Jesus died for,  will never be the same again.