It’s been a weird few days.  I feel like I’ve been in a bit of a tailspin… two sick children and our own schedules feel set aside.  I have tried the past few days to “do” Christmas — we even succeeded in getting our first batch of sugar-press cookies made in the midst of making our very favorite stew recipe of all times.  But it was not easy… poor little Ian, who has had bronchitis and high fevers for four days now — he just wants to be held!  He has resisted his medicine, despite our best attempts… Finally today he ate a bit and swallowed most of his medicine.

I feel like I should be doing so much, when in reality my children have just needed me to be – to be with them.  The last few nights have not held enough sleep — a child burning with fever;  another with a racking cough;  our little boy plagued with nightmares who finally finds comfort by snuggling in our small bed and having us pray together into the cold night.

This evening, with a heave and a sigh as all the kids were nestled into bed, I plopped on the couch and pulled out my “Watch for the Light” Advent readings.  The pieces of these last few days that have felt like mis-matched jigsaw puzzles to my tired mind begin to make more sense.  The days don’t need to fit together in a tidy way.  Certainly the first Christmas did not.  But Mary was willing for the unknownness, the terror that must have accompanied those early days.  She said ok to being THAT mom.  Despite all of the messiness that it entailed.

“Jesus observed, ‘without me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).  Yet we act, for the most part, as though without us God can do nothing.  We think we have to make Christmas come, which is to say we think we have to bring about the redemption of the universe on our own.  When all God needs is a willing womb, a place of safety, nourishment, and love…. What if, instead of doing something, we were to be something special?  Be a womb. Be a dwelling for God.  Be surprised.”  (Loretta Ross-Gotta).

Here’s a great stew recipe… add a few extra minutes if you’re holding a child while peeling the carrots and potatoes.

On Sunday we had a great excuse to visit a church we have wanted to for a long time… Joe Handley, the president of Asian Access was with us over the weekend, and he too wanted to visit J-House. (Website here).  We wanted our children to also visit this church and see God at work in a different context in Japan, so we packed up and drove into Osaka to attend the worship.  It is a five- or six story building in the middle of downtown.

J-House is a church founded eleven years ago by Katsuya Iida, a friend of mine from Fuller days when I was his teaching assistant.  Bobby Clinton used to often call him “our Gen Xer” student — he was definitely the youngest in the class, and a baby Christian at the time, but Bobby and I both sensed God’s special anointing on his life.  I have stayed in touch with him over the years, and it was a joy to help him and his lovely wife Mikiko begin their adoption process with Ai no Kesshin and soon after adopt darling twin boys!

The pastor we saw leading his church of over two hundred members on Sunday still clearly reflects God’s anointing.  It was such a joy to experience the worship, led by his wife…

What I loved so much was Katsuya’s practical message and clear application… I have so rarely seen this done in Japan.  Several times when he had us turn to a neighbor and share something, I thought how proud Bobby Clinton would be of him (my favorite mantra:  expression deepens impression). Besides Katsuya’s mother, I realized we were among the oldest in the room – how refreshing is that in this land with so many small churches filled mostly with seniors.

Afterwards, we gathered with several hundred others downstairs for a pasta lunch, and had a chance to share and talk more with Katsuya.

I learned – or relearned –  a few things from this visit:

a)  The Bible really is relevant for all of us – even – especially- for young people.  HOW we teach it makes a big difference.

b)  Discipleship is hard work… seeing the Iidas’ weekly schedule I realized that they (and their staff) pour their lives into nonbelievers and new believers.  In Japan, becoming transformed to Christ’s image doesn’t happen naturally (not that it does anywhere;  but there is no Christian worldview as a starting point here).  It really is a huge commitment to reach young people.

c)  People want to follow a compelling vision.  J-House has seven or eight “Jesus Soldiers” — staff from North America and other parts of the world who come, live in the church, and work for less than four hundred dollars a month.  They’re not in it for the money nor the spacious living quarters (not that most missionaries in Japan are.  Smile.)  But they are attracted to the vision of this church and young pastor and are doing some neat stuff in reaching out daily to college students across Osaka.  I love that.

d)  We need to pray for pastors like this.  As we were driving away, Eric said, “Sue, we need to be more committed to praying for them.  Look at the great things going on;  but we know that Satan doesn’t want them there.”  We have seen a number of dynamic pastors in Japan who were doing great ministry fall for various reasons;  we are committed to praying for and supporting the Iidas as they continue to do monumental work for God’s kingdom here.

My friend Lynnie, knowing that we do soup night on Mondays, sent me this recipe from a mutual friend Nancy Greenwold.  With the exception of the chiles (I used a few tablespoons of salsa) I am able to get all the ingredients in Japan.  It was REALLY yummy.  I liked its simplicity;  the cheese made it rich.  (I made the sour cream out of drained yoghurt).  Only one of our children didn’t take to it too well, but she has never been much of a bean kind of girl.

2 med. chopped onions
4 cloves garlic minced
2 TBls. butter
3 cups chicken broth
16 oz. sour cream (light is ok)
8 oz. can mild chiles
1/2 tsp. oregano
3 16 oz. cans white northern beans
2# chicken breasts cooked and chopped
3 cups monterey jack chesse shredded

saute onions and garlic in butter
add beans and chicken broth
bring to boil and add chicken, sour  cream,
chiles and oregano
simmer over low heat stirring often for 45 min.  (I added the cheese and sour cream at the end).

My friend says it freezes well.

God’s timing is ever- so sweet… after praying last night with each of my children for His will and plan to prevail in each of their lives, tonight Eric and I had the privilege of joining Owen as he prayed to give his life to Jesus.  We have seen God at work in his heart this past year, and been especially touched when many nights before bed Owen will come and ask us to read the Bible to him before he goes to sleep.  Tonight, he actually brought Eric the Bible and sat on his lap, asking for a verse.  He has been somewhat plagued with nightmares over the past six months (we’ve been careful since then to eliminate any scary shows in the evening), and has often asked us to pray with him.

Several years ago, when Annie told us (4 years old then) that she wanted to pray and ask Jesus into her heart, Owen was not ready nor interested.  That disinterest has slowly been replaced with questions, a joy for knowing more of God’s Word, and desiring prayer.   It was so beautiful to see his heart tonight, so open and ready, wanting all of Jesus that he could hold.  One week before his eighth birthday, he seems to grasp the surrendering and atonement that comes from welcoming God into His life.

I have not seen Eric cry often in our thirteen years, but tonight there were two tear-filled, thankful parents.  We love bringing the Good News to the Japanese, but there is nothing like seeing God penetrate the hearts of our own children.

Thanks to those who pray for our family.  I’ve been thinking about the need for prayer for protection over us… even Owen’s nightmares seem to be spiritual in nature.  And as I type this, I am holding little Ian, who is burning up right now.  He has had a very high fever most of the day… it went down for awhile this afternoon but has stayed quite high tonight and his breathing sounds somewhat shallow.  Thanks to you who pray for us;  we appreciate prayers for little Ian who has already had his share of ER visits due to his asthma and proneness to bronchial-type illnesses.  Lord, may your will and plans prevail over our children’s lives.  Keep them safely in your care.

One of the traditions we have started at Christmas is an Advent house…. adapted from an idea from our friend Kristin.  Each night we put a personalized Bible verse for each child in the door, and then hide three different treats in one of the other doors in preparation for the next morning.  They are excited each morning to read their verse and find their treat.

I was especially taken by their verse today (the name is personalized for each of them):

“No matter what plans I may desire for Annie, or that she may have for herself, let your purpose prevail in her life” (Proverbs 19:21).

I love this verse — I prayed it individually with each of them before bed.  Oh God – let your purposes –not ours — prevail over Owen’s…. Annie’s… Olivia’s…. Ian’s life.  I love to imagine and pray for how God might use them as they grow up.  But more importantly, how much we pray for God’s purposes to prevail in their lives.

I spent the first three days of this week in Shizuoka, a lovely area south of Tokyo famous for its green tea, eel, and wasabi.  I was there to participate in Asian Access’ annual Japan Church Growth Institute conference for pastors.  Although quite honestly I wasn’t all that excited about leaving my family and attending, it was a really good, full few days.  Thankful to Eric for covering the homefront!

The speaker was a church growth expert from Talbot Seminary, Dr. Gary McIntosh.  I think I most enjoyed his five principles of church growth that are still true after Donald MacGavran first wrote them forty years ago in Bridges of God.  They ring incredibly true to our own ministry:

1)  People come to Christ primarily through family and friends

2)  People come to faith through personal conversations over spiritual things with people they know and trust

3)  People’s willingness to talk about Jesus Christ and spiritual things comes and goes;  hearts are open and closed at different times

4)  We must be involved in people’s lives, and then wait until God brings them to a place of willingness to hear the Gospel.

5)  We must provide a loving welcome for new people and embrace them with love into a new church.   People want to be accepted first, then accept Christ.

These are great reminders for all of us involved in loving people…

The highlight for me was the opportunity to talk with various pastors across Japan and hear stories of what they are encouraged and discouraged about; where God is at work;  what I can learn from what others are doing.  As I am preparing for teaching a seminary class this winter on Evangelism, it was a great chance to glean from others.

I had a wonderful surprise the first day when two of the D.Min students, one from three years ago and one from this fall, walked in together — married!  Shiho was single when I taught her;  I knew that Suzuki Sensei had recently gotten married but didn’t know to who.  They were in their forties/fifties when they were married;  now they are co-pastoring a church in the Tokyo area.

My last day I sat with a neat married couple who pastor a six-story church in downtown Hiroshima.  I prayed over them, so encouraged to hear of their vision, the three worship services that they are holding; the many young people they are reaching.

I spent a number of meals with the “AboFo” crowd– short for About Forty.  These were the youngsters in the group…the future of this country.  In casually interviewing one of these pastors who had been a student when I was TAing at Fuller, I asked him how many people he has led to Christ since he started his church eleven years ago.  LOVED his answer — two hundred!

As I continue to work on my course on evangelism in Japan, I am convinced that there are no easy formulas.  But I do believe there is wonderful evidence of the Holy Spirit moving across the land.  Perhaps elusive;  definitely not as fully as any of us would choose.  But I was reminded again this week that thankfully God is much bigger than we can imagine and He is using all kinds of people to do his work.

I loved a You Tube video  that was filmed recently at the old John Wanamaker department building in Philadelphia at the end of October.  It was amazing…. suddenly hundreds of shoppers broke out into the Hallelujah chorus.  They represented about fifteen different choirs in the greater Philadelphia area who had been secretly preparing, sponsored by a group who is committing to “random acts of culture” over the next few years.  Awesome!

I shared this video with my ladies’ English class, and my partner Mary and I spent awhile explaining what “random acts of kindness” means.  They all were quite surprised that there is even a phrase like this… so I shared two stories that have given us insight into what kinds of random acts of kindness work, and don’t work in Japan.

Ex. 1:  Eric and I have tried every year during the Christmas season to do a “random act of kindness” for someone or a family who might have a need at that time.  We have often done it anonymously, but found there are times when that isn’t always the best thing.   One year when we were living in Sendai, we bought a kerosene heater for a family with six children who only had one heater during the very cold winters.  On Christmas eve we left it on their doorstep with a big bow.  A day or two later, our pastor came over, and asked if we were the ones who had given the heater.  The wife and the children were a part of our church, but not the husband.  He got very upset that someone had left a heater anonymously, and demanded to know who it was.

We of course, felt SO horrible when we heard this, and immediately went over and “confessed” our act.  The dad was fine once he knew it was us — it was the NOT knowing that he didn’t like.  And as I shared this story with my ladies’ class, they all understood and agreed – anonymous doesn’t usually work so well in this culture.

The second story also took place in Sendai – perhaps you have heard us tell this story.  We were driving in the pouring rain on one of the major freeways.  On the opposite side, we noticed as we drove by a young woman in a white suit and high heels wheeling a huge tire down the freeway, by herself, in the pouring rain.  A few hundred feet further we saw her intended destination– her SUV.  We couldn’t believe that no one had stopped to help her!  We got up to the toll booth, paid, and made a U-Turn to go back and help her.  We pulled next to her, and had her get in our car while Eric put her tire in our van and we backed up to her car.  We waited together for the tow car to come.  Her Dad had changed her tires the night before and had forgotten to screw on the nuts!  Suddenly on the freeway the tire had just whipped off of the car and down the freeway — it was a miracle no one was injured or killed.

After the repairman came, we gave her our phone number and left.  That night, she called to thank us;  two days later she, her fiance, and her mother showed up at our doorstep, bearing presents.  That was the beginning of  a special friendship that has continued.  Miki and Kentaro got married, and they have visited us during our visits to the U.S. and three times since we’ve lived in Sanda… they just were here this weekend with their darling two year old daughter.  We had such a good time!  That spontaneous U-turn eight years ago feels very un-random – totally predetermined.

Even as I write out this happy-ending story, though, I think about the year before this original incident about ten years ago… Eric and I were driving at night down a completely deserted road in Montana when we saw a pick-up truck pulled over on the highway with its hazard lights on.  I can’t remember if we saw somebody or not, but somehow we knew it was a car that needed help. We were a bit freaked out – there was no one else for MILES and MILES –  and kept driving.  I’ve always wondered who it was and who we didn’t stop to help – and what difference we could have made.

So, I’m thinking a lot about random acts of kindness.  Especially as the Christmas season comes up, Eric and I are talking about how we can be further partakers in random acts of kindness this year (not too anonymously), and encourage others to do the same.  We are going to do secret angels with our ladies’ English class – it will be fun to see what they do with that.  I was thinking how awesome it would be to see such spectacular random acts as the Hallelujah chorus happen across Japan!  For now we’ll have to keep it simple – but who knows what could happen?

This morning I am at McDonalds (one of the few public places I have found in Japan with internet access!) working on a course I will be teaching this winter on Evangelism.  I came across a random quote that I have never heard from the eighteenth-century theologian Jonathan Edwards.  We often associate his name with “Sinners in the hand of an Angry God.”  But this one brings immediate truth to any pain we may be harboring by decisions or hurts inflicted by different people who have intentionally or unintentionally injured us.  It reminds us of the practical truths that are foundational to our belief in God’s Sovereignty.

“Love to God disposes men to see his hand in everything;  to own him as the governor of the world, and the director of providence;  and to acknowledge his disposal in everything that takes place.  And the fact that the hand of God is a great deal more concerned in all that happens to us than the treatment of men is, should lead us, in a great measure, not to think of things as from men, but to have respect to them chiefly as from God — as ordered by his love and wisdom, even when their immediate source may be the malice or heedlessness of a fellow-man.  And if we indeed consider and feel that they are from the hand of God, then we shall be disposed meekly to receive and quietly to submit to them, and to own that the greatest injuries received from men are justly and even kindly ordered of God, and so be far from any ruffle or tumult of mind on account of them.” (Jonathan Edwards;  Charity and its Fruits)

When I was growing up on special occasions my mom would make “French breakfast muffins.”  Totally yummy, they taste like warm homemade donuts, but are baked, not fried (and coated in lots of calories!).  I especially remember her making them on snow days, or days when we needed extra encouragement.

I’ve made them for our family the last two years when we had school cancelled because of typhoons. Thus the contextualized name.  This morning when I woke up, it was going to rain – not a typhoon, but still… I thought we needed typhoon donuts.  Eric and I had stayed up TOO late last night doing our required monthly reimbursements.  Despite the efforts by administrative staff to make these streamlined, we still end up spending way too many hours and frustration getting these done.  I hadn’t had a chance to finish ironing all the kids’ uniforms, lunch napkins, and smocks for today. And  we have felt some angst about the unknown-ness of the pink/purple house.  After finally seeing it on Saturday, we were a bit stunned at its hugeness;  excited about some of the great features of it;  concerned about costs of heating and caring for it;  unsure if the owner would accept our counter-offer for a monthly rent amount and dividing up some of the fix-up costs.

Our kids were happy to start the day with these yummy surprises, and it turns out to have been a good call.  The owner’s representative called later in the morning to say that the company who actually owns the house had a meeting today and decided for tax purposes they don’t want to rent it out.  Even though the owner had finally agreed, when they realized it would still cost some initial money to prepare it for our move-in, they decided they would rather just leave it empty.

So, the year of wondering is over – we won’t be moving into the pink and purple home with the big black fence.  We are disappointed; thankful for finally knowing an answer; disappointed some more;  still trusting God.  Yesterday I read Deuteronomy 32:4 – “He is the Rock; His works are perfect, and all his ways are just.”  Eric and I were talking yesterday that our current house is not ideal;  and if we were to move to the new home it would be great but not perfect (TOO big in some ways, as great as it was); but that we can trust that wherever God chooses for us to live is the perfect place that he has for us.  I really believe that.  I am not always satisfied with God’s plan, but that is about me and not Him.

Today I was having lunch with my good Japanese friend, N.  We had been talking about the house and the implications of this news, and I shared this verse with her.  When our mutual friend Suga (the owner’s relative who has gone to bat with us numerous times this year with the owner) called, my friend N. (not a believer) was able to share with her this bible verse, and that Eric and I are trusting in God’s perfect plan.

We are trusting in God, and will continue to do that.  I believe with all my heart that He is trust-worthy.  Even on days that drive us to make Typhoon Donuts.

Here is the recipe – try these when you need a pick-me-up one morning:

Our friends Brenda and Mike Fukuda wrote this and shared it at HOPE Christian Fellowship Church with all the children brought to the front the Sunday after our friend Praise died.  I was really touched by it and they are happy for others to be able to use it as well.

I was thinking the other day about one of my favorite worship songs — the medley that includes “O the wonderful cross!”  And I thought about the family and friends of Jesus on that friday – there is NO WAY on that day that they could have ever imagined that at any point in the future anyone would be able to sing about that cross;  that day, being anything near wonderful.  But God in his way transformed and used the cross, and the consequent resurrection, to bring healing and peace and light.  So I need to trust that God can do the same for those who have experienced tremendous loss these past weeks with the death of Praise. I just found out as well that my cousin Bob passed away from cancer.  I am praying as well that God will bring meaning and healing through his death, as well.

Here’s the children’s message from the Fukudas:

“Praise, Shines the Light.” for Children’s message. Using a flashlight to illustrate.

I would like to tell you about a special girl who let her light shine. Her name is Praise Goh and God had given Praise a very important job to love children and show them His love. He gave her a special laugh so when she laughed she would shine His light on all the children and they would laugh too. He gave her a special dance so that when she would dance she would shine His light on all the children and they would dance too. He made her to love jumping because He knew the children would want to jump too. And when she would sit down and open up her arms all the children would come to her.

If a child asked, “Praise, why do you love me so?” Praise would tell them the story about how God had given her His light. She would tell of a time when God shone His light on her heart and she saw that it was dark and broken from sin. She said, “God, I have sinned. Forgive my sin. I believe in Jesus and choose to follow him all of my life.” Then His light came and she knew that one day when she died she would be with Him in Heaven forever.

As Praise followed God and loved children, God told Praise about the other children in the world who had no food, no clothes, no home, and worst of all no one to love them or tell them about God’s love. Praise knew she needed to help. One place Praise went to was the Philippines. When she got there she was shocked. The children were not clean, when she held their hands they were sweaty and dirty. They had no food and she saw them looking for food in the gutters. Some were all alone and living on the street. Her heart broke because the children had known such sadness.

But something amazing happened! When Praise began to laugh and shine God’s light on the children, they began to laugh too. When Praise began to dance and shine God’s light on the children, they began to dance too. When Praise jumped, they jumped too. And when Praise sat down and opened up her arms, the children came to her. And if any of them asked, “Why do you love me so?” She would tell them about when God had first given her the light. Praise went home from the Philippines happy. In shining God’s light just as he asked, she found such joy.

Now many of you know Praise and if you didn’t know Praise, I am glad you are here to hear her story. Many of you know that last week Praise died. But Jesus said, “Whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” Because Praise trusted in Christ, she is now living in Heaven with God. In Heaven there is no sadness or pain. The Bible says that, “Jesus is the light and whoever follows him will never walk in darkness.” In Heaven the light from God is so bright that lamps are not needed…not even the light from the sun is needed. The light from Jesus is enough.

Praise is now in heaven with the God she loved with all her heart. She belongs to God, but sometimes we wish she still belonged to us. When someone we love dies, we feel sad and we may cry. It can help to talk to someone you love and trust…like your family or someone at HOPE. There are so many people who love you here. Sometimes you may not cry and that is ok too. You might feel like being alone, or drawing a picture, or doing something special that you used to do with Praise. But no matter how you feel, talk to God. He is always listening and wants to hear from you.

If you knew Praise, you may wonder, “Does Praise remember me?” I am sure she does. She loved you and you are part of her treasure in Heaven. See even more then Praise loved you, God does. I picture him, hugging Praise and saying “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You loved the children I asked you to love.” So when you think of Praise it is ok to cry, to laugh, to dance, to jump…but when you think of Praise always remember to look up and picture her there in Heaven with God. One day, all those who follow Jesus will be in Heaven too.

Now I have 2 surprises for you. The first one is that next Sunday we are going to have a special “Praise Party” in Sunday School. If you would like you will get to draw a picture and we will remember Praise. There will also be special treats brought to your classes. We are getting a jumper and each class will get a chance to jump in the jumper. Praise taught us so much about laughter and love and so we want to do those things together.

I also have a gift for you. When I give each of you your flashlight, I want you to give it to your parents so you won’t lose it at church and they can put your name on it at home. Will you take the light and shine it on your heart? And if you have never done so before say, “God, I have sin. Forgive my sin. I believe in Jesus and choose to follow Him. I want to be part of his forever family.” If you want to pray that talk to me today or talk to your family.

If you already have prayed to follow Jesus, then take the flashlight and say, “Lord how do you want me to shine your light? Just as you called Praise to laugh, dance, jump, and hold the children, how do you want me to shine? Who do you want me to love?